Saturday, September 26, 2009

I Wish I Could Do More

I got a letter from a dear friend the other day. She's going through an unspeakable trial. Heart breaking, gut wrenching, wake-you-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-thinking-about-it kind of a trial.

As I finished reading her letter, I found myself thinking, "I wish I wasn't so far away! I would love to do more than just pray"! You know, take a meal, watch her kids, be there to listen.

But in about one millisecond, the Spirit pressed in on me. It was quite uncomfortable actually.


Ouch. But He was right. It's so much easier for me to bake some cookies, or babysit, than it is to do the work of prayer. Once again, I showed that my knee jerk response is to try to DO something in my own strength.

Prayer wasn't my preferred response because prayer is an act of surrender, of utter dependance. It's proclaiming to God, "This is beyond me, but You are capable!" And I wasn't feeling desperate in that moment, I wanted to DO something to help.

But now, I do feel desperate. Desperate for the deep down soul belief that I NEED to pray and desperate for a behavior that manifests my belief.

"You can do more than pray after you have prayed, but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed." John Bunyan

How have you grown in your appreciation for and need of prayer? At times like these, I'm so thankful that though I often fail to pray, the Spirit intercedes for me!

7 comments:

Betty said...

Very very good post! Especially for me! Because this is the thing I feel so many times. I feel like praying is not enough. But it should be, it should be more than enough. Thanks for bringing this to our attention. I hope your friend´s situation will be helped through your prayers!

for HIS glory said...

This is profound and really beautiful. Thanks, Shilo. Love you, girl.

Anonymous said...

Hi Shilo.. I'm checking out your blog cuz Josie had it up on her screen. Thanks for the great reminder of prayer.. I had a time like that a few months ago when my mother fell and was hurting. I wanted to be there for her.

So thanks again for the reminder.Teresa

FlipFlop Mom said...

I found your blog tonight by hitting the "next blog" button.... I just wanted to say that this post is a GREAT reminder and eye opener!! Thank you for sharing!!

Julie said...

So, so true Shilo! Prayer is the BEST and most vital thing we could do, yet it many times we (I) don't get on my knees first.

Josie said...

Hey girl - good quote and excellent reminder! While I've never had a quote on my email signature , now I will - as a reminder for ME! Thanks a lot!

Becky Aguirre said...

I have often felt that way, too, and that's an awesome answer to that helpless feeling of being so far away from loved ones and friends...great post!

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