Who is This Person?

Vintage clip art courtesy of the Graphic Fairy

I'm sitting there, my heart's racing and I feel so anxious. Tears are pouring down my cheeks. I'm wondering, "Who is this person? Because she's not me. She's not the confident, decisive person I have always been."

It was supposed to be a fun day of shopping with my husband. But I wasn't having much fun. I felt under pressure to find the perfect gift at the best price. I picked things up and then put them back. I doubted my judgement. And I felt angry that I was having such a hard time! This was supposed to be fun. And really, it always had been in the past.

As I sat there crying and praying, I realized I was having a little bit of reverse culture shock (that means I was having a hard time processing or accepting the way things are done in my own culture). I'd evolved into someone different during my four years in South America.

I guess it's because, in some ways, my options were so limited there and choices weren't a luxury that I enjoyed (if you've never travelled overseas, you're gonna have to take my word on this). I remember shopping and shopping until I found something that would work for me. I got used to "making do" and "pinch hitting". I gladly paid whatever outrageous price was asked for an item I had been searching for because I knew I would likely never find it again. I got used to living that way. Sure there were times it was hard to deal with but on the other hand, it made me more creative and resourceful and ultimately reduced my attachment to things. And that was something to be thankful for.

But back in my own culture, I felt overwhelmed at all the options . The thrill of hunting for the best deal became cumbersome. And I suddenly began to question my ability to make good decisions. Had I really become so mush brained that I couldn't tell until I walked out of the store that $30 of merchandise for $20 was better than $20 of merchandise for $20?

I can be pretty hard on myself, and maybe that's what you're thinking I'm doing. And you're right. At first, I was. But what it's turned into for me is a chance to remember what my REAL identity is. I'm not an indecisive, anxious, insecure person (even if I feel like it).

I'm a child of God. I'm not defined by my actions or thoughts (no matter what provokes them). I'M DEFINED BY WHAT HE SAYS ABOUT ME. And He says I'm accepted in the Beloved. I'm seated in the heavenly places at His right hand. I'm loved with an everlasting love. I'm bought with a price. I'm secure for all eternity. I'm His.

And that makes all the difference. It allows me to forgive myself for thinking I should be perfect. It causes me to relax and deal graciously with myself when I see that I am having difficulty processing my own culture and appreciate that OF COURSE I am changed by four years in another culture (I would have robbed myself greatly if I had never learned from that opportunity!).

So why am I sharing this with you? I don't really know, except that I feel compelled to do so. Maybe someone will be encouraged by my testimony. Maybe someone else will understand missionary women better as a result of reading it. Ultimately, I just hope that God gets the glory somehow. Because He deserves it.

Thank You for Joining Me

Emily over at Chatting at the Sky is hosting a wonderful Christmas party called "Everyday Unwrapped". She's encouraging us to notice the small blessings that come our way as we prepare for Christmas. It's easy to get lost in all the decorating, shopping, and baking that we miss the everyday gifts God sends us!



Yesterday, He unwrapped a beautiful moment for me. Darling Little Redhead had invited me to share a "picmic" with him. As we spread out his favorite blanket and sat down with our lunch, I thanked him for inviting me. That's when my three year old said (and I quote), "Thank YOU for joining me, mom!"

My heart went *SQUEEZE* and I thanked God for slowing me down enough to say "yes" to an indoor "picmic", to say "yes" to Everyday Unwrapped.

Christmas Photo Mats

Since the entirety of my Christmas decorations has to fit in O.N.E. Rubbermaid, I have to look for creative ways to bring holiday cheer to my home.



This is one of my favorite things to do! Just take some cute wrapping paper (this was in the Target $1 Spot), cover your photo mat, and rehang. You get lots of bang for a little buck, not to mention that it is a super fast update!

If you don't have any photos with mats, why not wrap whatever artwork you have hanging on the wall with some paper and a gigantic bow?

And while we're on the subject of bows, here's another great place to use them:


Photo: BH&G 100 Days of Holidays

I can't wait to buy some ribbon and give this idea, featured at The Inspired Room, a try! If you like this, check out Melissa's other ideas for using what you've got for your holiday decorating.

Like Father, Like Son

This Thanksgiving picture really doesn't need a caption. Just read El Principito's shirt and you'll see what I mean! :)

A Thanksgiving Challenge

Vintage Clip art thanks to Karen

With all the brilliant posts out there about Thanksgiving, I'll be honest, I hesitate to even write one. Don't get me wrong. I have PLENTY to be thankful for, and having lived overseas for the past four years, I'm more aware than ever how tremendously blessed we are in this country (that's another post).

Some things are easy to be thankful for, and even seem quite obvious.

• I have peace and joy thanks to Jesus.
• There's my husband who brought me flowers yesterday just because he's thankful that I'm his wife.
• There's Darling Little Redhead who ran around the living room for 20 minutes this morning singing, "Clean up, clean up, everybody do your part" without any prompting from me.
• And then there's El Principito who smiles more than any baby I've ever seen.
• Add to that the chance to be HERE with my extended family this year...and my heart is full.

But how do I give thanks for the things that honestly aren't so wonderful? Simple things like ANOTHER sink full of dishes and fingerprints on the coffee table (again)? And difficult things like broken relationships, the loss of a loved one and financial hardship?

For me, it all boils down to PERSPECTIVE. Am I willing to discipline my mind and look at things from a different perspective? Am I willing to:

• See that another sink full of dishes means that my family has more than enough to eat?
• Smile with joy that Darling Little Redhead knows how to happily entertain himself with his train set and leaves me reminders (fingerprints)?
• Praise God that a fractured relationship draws me closer to him and teaches me how to pray?
• Acknowledge that the pain of loss heightens my ability to feel others' hurts and gives me new insight into how to bless them in the midst of their grief?
• Recognize that my inability to buy "things" that I want is a chance for my creativity and ingenuity to come alive?

Right now, I am having to discipline my mind to be thankful that I don't have a permanent house here on earth. I sometimes lament that we have lived in eight different locations in our six years of marriage (and are likely moving two more times before our seventh anniversary). I wish I could decorate to my hearts content and just tweak things over the years instead of starting over every year and making do.

But when I change my PERSPECTIVE, I can thank God that I've had a chance to travel the world and meet so many wonderful, inspiring people. I can thank God that I have this lifestyle because I choose it, not because I am a refugee. And ultimately, I can thank God that I have a forever home - and I'm not just talking about heaven, I'm talking about HIM being my daily home (Ps. 90:1).

Now here's my challenge to you today - Discipline your mind to find another perspective and choose thankfulness. Won't you purpose to do these two things?

1. Identify something in your life that that regularly bothers you or causes you to fuss and complain.
2. Create a THANKFUL phrase to speak back next time it's filling your mind with discontentment or discouragement!

It's Either Free Shoes or Insanity

See these cute brown shoes?



I bought these little brown darlings on October 11th. Well, I tried to buy them on October 11th but the only size nine they had was defective. So, they ordered a pair in for me. They took down all my information, swiped my card and told me they would call me when the shoes came in.

And they did about a week later. My fantastic sister was in town that day so she picked them up for me. Ever since then, I've been watching my bank account to see the charge for those shoes go through. But it never has. Not wanting to "steal" the shoes, I decided I was going to call the store today and find out what happened.

Turns out it's pretty hard to try not to steal something! :) The first person passed me on to another person who gave me another phone number to call. So I called that number and they said that my account showed I had paid cash. Only I'm pretty sure I did NOT pay cash.

Now I don't know what happened and I think I junked the receipt so I am forever left wondering if I got a pair of free shoes or if I've slipped into insanity and just randomly write things in my checkbook register. I think I'll be sticking with the free shoes story.

My Photos 100 Years Later?

Wanna take your picture from the view from Dad and Mom's house...


...to the view from Great Grandpa Floyd's?


From Beautifully Colorful...


...to Postcard Nostalgic?


I heard that resounding "Yes!". All you have to do is head over to this website. Don't be alarmed when you see everything written in another language, just take a deep breath and click the "English" button in the top right hand corner (but don't expect a perfect translation). Then three easy steps: browse, convert and save!